This doesn’t just happen around Christmas. It happens all the time. Christmas is just when we all have it at the same time. Is it necessary? Many say yes. Reflecting is hard, they say. It’s confrontational. When you’re young and haven’t developed a mind of your own, you believe that’s true. When you’re old and haven’t developed a mind of your own, you even tell others it’s true. What you don’t tell them is that the mind is malleable, that it works like the body, or that you can train the muscles of your mind just as you can train the muscles of your body. You will especially stay far from stating that training the mind and training the body are very similar and that when you train the mind you train the body, and vice versa. That is, you will refuse to believe you tell a lot about the shape of one’s mind by looking at one’s body. When you come across an image with a weight bar saying “My bar is my therapist”, you say ‘whatever’ and move on.
I set out to solve the problem occurring in the dream. But what was it? Not being capable of building enough associations in the mind to make the whole endeavour interesting again? Yes, most likely, but was there any way to prevent this from happening and, should I try to?
After sleeping in one morning after an insanely busy night at work, I decided that, if it was a problem at all, it was a bodymind-diy problem. The bodymind-diy is an depressing piece of shit that has to solve all the world’s problems on their own and has zero energy for it. All religion and spiritualism (through priests, yoga teachers, guru’s) has ever done, was to deny this fact of life. Instead, religion and especially spiritualism has attempted to tackle the hardest problem: insisting the opposite is true: the bodymind is an incomprehensible miracle that, once truly understood, creates abundances of energy for solving all problems. The religious strive may be worthy of praise. But for people who have a mind of their own it often seems like too many fine words and not enough substance. So let’s get to the substance, and fast, let’s find a way to address this problem of bodymind-diy that haunts society causing relentless suffering, as Alfred Whitehead might say.
Still sitting around with the family around Christmas, someone tells a story just little too fast, enabling others to detect what is really being said, ‘under the surface’. This is the ‘real’ communication taking place, the most influential one, the one that puts pressing thoughts into the minds of others. It is not the same as the spoken communication. If it were, we say, we would not have social skills and would be robots. We would not have empathy. This is not true of course, since detecting the subsurface may be just as robotic a skill as simply listening face value. Think of the hard time actors have playing a role ‘naturally’. They have to surface within their roles to cause a perception of depth. If you don’t follow this, study acting theory for a while.
Surely, it has been our honour to become engrossed in an unprecedented ordeal of enculturation that will forever rid the depressing bodymind. Real beauty, however, is only for those who stayed back. And they know it. Whether it is someone crying for someone else or someone gaining a sense of experiencing God residing within him, the asthetic can only grow through several different layers of existence. Such layers can only be build through the bodymind.
In a global sense, these two entities relate to the educational paradigms of harsh discipline versus entertainment (‘learning is fun!’). If one starts the day with exposure, with flickering backgrounds, pictures, movies, messages, image-based news, it would take an hour of meditation to get at least back to a minimum of the kind of bodymind awareness, which is strongly related to long-term memory. Short-term memorizing for the next test is not to be regarded as a temporary phase but literally destroys the lives of many students who can’t discern between both anylonger. There long-term memory is not shot, they simply don’t remember how to activate and use it. Satire, self-mockery, positive outlook, fun; they have always formed more convincing arguments than thoroughness, diligence, discipline, dedicatedness, boredom.
The point is that in a life filled with exposure the bodymind (as well as the bodymind-DIY) demands to be ignored while it desires to solve all problems. The subsurface DIY demands to be witnessed and experienced while it desires to destroy everything. Whatever is detected submarine, using ‘empathic’ radar, is perceived as subdued and usually negative. If it is not negative, it doesn’t make much of an impact. The submarine is associated automatically or robotically with certain bits of information about the person’s life. For instance, the person may have trouble finding a job or is lonely because still single. Needless to point out, these associations are superficial and cannot mean anything substantial.
Regardless of the fact that many people are addicted to – or make a living – detecting subsurface issues, I believe that this skill can be developed within any human with an able brain. More importantly, it can be used for more substantial things than superficial empathy. There are a few things that stand in the way of such development, the biggest being technologization and technological rationalization of society. Once internalized, the suggestion offered in this book may be used as a simple tool to build interpersonal trust, as well as stimulate opening up barriers to healthy communication. It is silly to believe that such communication has to be devoid of the unknown realm that continues to be discarded by the scientific community, out of fear of being exposed or of losing a job. The strategy is threefold: first the reader learns about the promise of ESP in a technologized, networked, information-based society. Second, the reader acquires the skill of silently observing frames of reference. And third, the reader learns how to apply the skill by reading about real-life examples.